The Right Amount of Loneliness

Experiencing sporadic bouts of loneliness is a normal and common human experience. But when it becomes a consistent, significant part of your everyday life, it can impact your physical and mental health, increasing your risk of heart disease, stroke, dementia, depression, and anxiety, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. 

Despite this, a state of loneliness remains prevalent in the U.S. In a 2023 Gallup survey, 17 percent of U.S. adults (44 million people) regularly felt “a lot of loneliness” — which the American Psychological Association defines as “discomfort of uneasiness from being or perceiving oneself to be alone or otherwise solitary.” 

So, it’s easy to presume that loneliness correlates to not spending enough time with other people. However, a recent study in the Journal of Research in Personality found that people who spend a lot or very little time alone (i.e., you spend the majority of your time around people) experienced the most significant loneliness. For those who spend less than 25 percent of their day alone, “think of it as feeling lonely in a crowd. You can have a lot of contact with others or be in a committed relationship and still feel lonely,” says Cat Moore, the director of belonging at the University of Southern California and the founder of The Belonging Studio.

Interestingly, the study also showed there could be a “right” amount of loneliness. It found that spending a moderate amount of time alone (approximately 25 to 75 percent of waking hours) was associated with comparably low rates of loneliness. After all, it’s normal to sometimes want to be alone to spark creativity, reflect on your thoughts, and relax.

But when there’s unwanted loneliness, you can let your longing for deeper connection be a sign to engage in authentic exchanges with others — and take better care of yourself. 

RELATED: Go It Alone